Take THIS!

This tale happens on a beautiful evening while I was on my way to a friend’s house to hang out after work. It was one of those fine kinda nights where the weather was perfect, the radio was jamming, I was feeling fantastic, and all was right with the world. My van ( The Beast as it is so affectionately referred to by me ) was a sanctum of awesome and I was it’s only inhabitant; mobile Zen.

I grew weary of the pop and rap for the evening and switched it to our local alternative rock station. I wish I could recall the ear sex that came out of the speakers but it was one of those great nostalgic type tunes that reminded you of when you were a kid in middle school and Papa Roach was suffocating, no breathing, and didn’t give a ---- you know the rest.

I immediately joined in on the tune sporting my best growl ( it’s pathetic ) and enough effort in to sounding like a badass that had The Beast ran on ridiculous then I could exclude gas from my budget for half a year easy.

Verse two faded… the chorus echoed for a moment and then …. the GUITAR SOLO!

Had I the ability to mosh and drive at the same time I might have tried. I’m a little surprised I didn’t. Oh, sweet elation! As I described before – there’s just something magical about cruising, music, and being uninhibited.

Being uninhibited has social consequences… It was at a red light that my audience and I halted our journey and idled among a sea of awkward glances and stares.

They were mostly directed at me.

While I’m sure there are far worse instances I’ve experienced at red lights we’re going to exclude any other time and go ahead and claim this as the most uncomfortable red light I have ever been subjected to. Some people pointed and laughed with their friends while a truck with dark tinted windows sputtered in a mocking manner beside me.

“Turn green. Turn green. Turn green. Turn GREEN!” I urged the light. I don’t think it understood what it was that I wanted it to do.

What seemed to be forever later, we were all on our way again down the streets to our destinations. I rolled down my window and let the wind give me a hug.

I pondered the deeper meanings of life and how much it sucked to be a social outcast in school and now as an adult. ( Pity parties happen but they seldom last long. )

........ Okay. Sometimes they don't last long.

See? No more sadness! That’s a happy noise. Happy noises are what I call this frequency my cell phone makes when I receive a text message. Somehow, the tone I have it set to cuts through any noise around me and I always hear the disturbance enough to recognize what’s up.

That's my text message noise up there.

I dumped the punch bowl and ditched the party hat as I reached for my phone to see who wished to open communication with a super, hardcore shock rocker like me. This is where things get amazing, in my most humble opinion.

I looked down…. Y’see, I hate fishing my phone out of my pocket while driving. I don’t like setting it down on the seat beside me, in the door handle slot, cup holder, etc. For some reason the cell has found a home in my seat halfway underneath my thigh. I don’t know how this became a habit but it is.

The screen glimmered with its rave-like qualities and shined up at me : ALERTING me of the message awaiting my hungry eyes. I was no longer super concerned with my text though…. You see, the glower from the device light up the steering wheel with such an intensity that I squealed. This was TOO PERFECT!

With my window still rolled down and the brake applied to stop at another red light I proclaimed - NAY! SHOUTED! ....

The stares were great with intensity.

Give yourself +16 points if you get the reference.

Give yourself +8 more points if you are equally excited about this.